Avoiding Common Mistakes When Naming an Executor of Your Estate
Choosing an executor is one of the most important estate planning decisions because that person will carry out your instructions when you can’t. A thoughtful executor choice can reduce delays, reduce confusion, and lower the risk of conflict during an already stressful time.
In Washington, you may also hear the term "personal representative," even when people say "executor" in everyday conversation. Either way, the job can involve gathering records, managing property, paying valid bills, keeping beneficiaries informed, and distributing assets as your will directs. Avoiding common mistakes starts with choosing someone who can handle the responsibility and providing written guidance that limits guesswork.
In Auburn, Washington, our firm, Boswell Law Offices, PLLC, helps individuals and families create wills that are practical, clear, and easier for loved ones to follow when it matters most. We proudly serve Auburn and the surrounding areas of Tacoma, Kent, Southern King County, and Pierce County, Washington. Get in touch with us today.
Choosing an Executor With the Right Fit
Many people default to the closest relative, but closeness doesn’t always match the work involved. The executor is usually the point person for communication, paperwork, and decisions that affect everyone. A practical screen can help you choose someone who can follow through without turning the process into a popularity vote:
Reliability under pressure: They should be consistent with follow-up, deadlines, and documentation, even when family emotions run high.
Comfort with paperwork and records: They should be willing to track assets, store documents, and keep a clear timeline of what’s been done.
Steady communication habits: They should be able to share updates in a calm, factual way, without fueling disputes or taking sides.
Good judgment about outside help: They should be willing to involve qualified professionals when the estate needs tax, valuation, or court filing support.
A capable executor is often someone who can keep the focus on your written instructions rather than family pressure. Once you’ve narrowed your choice, the next step is to confirm that the person will actually accept the job and has the capacity to carry it out.
Confirming Willingness and Day-to-Day Capacity
A common mistake is naming someone without asking them first. Many people feel honored by the request, but some don’t want the responsibility or feel uncomfortable dealing with money, conflict, or court filings.
If you name someone who won’t serve, your estate may face delays while another person is appointed or the court gets involved. A direct conversation can also clarify how the executor prefers to communicate, what help they’d want, and whether they’re comfortable making time-sensitive decisions.
Capacity matters just as much as willingness. Someone can be trustworthy and still have limited time due to work, caregiving duties, health concerns, or travel. Location can also affect how quickly they can deal with property issues, mail, and in-person tasks when needed.
Reducing Disputes Through Smart Selection
An executor doesn’t need to be everyone’s favorite person, but the choice shouldn’t create avoidable tension. If beneficiaries already distrust the executor, every decision can turn into an argument about motives, not facts. A few planning choices can reduce the chance that your executor becomes the center of conflict:
Choosing someone perceived as fair: A neutral and even-handed person can lower suspicion, especially in families with old disagreements.
Avoiding known fault lines: If one beneficiary has a long history of conflict with your preferred executor, that tension may spill into every step of administration.
Setting expectations for communication: Clear expectations about updates and documentation can reduce the feeling that information is being withheld.
Considering a professional option when needed: In some situations, a neutral third party may be a better choice than placing one family member in the middle.
If your family dynamic is sensitive, your written instructions matter even more because they set the ground rules when people are emotional. Once you’ve chosen the right person, the next step is supporting that choice with clear terms and a backup plan.
Writing Clear Instructions and Naming Backups
Even a capable executor can run into problems when documents are vague, outdated, or missing key information. Confusion about authority, personal property, and access to records can stall progress and increase frustration among beneficiaries. Practical drafting and preparation can give your executor clearer direction and reduce the risk of avoidable disputes:
Authority to manage and distribute assets: Your will should give the executor the ability to carry out tasks that may be required, like handling accounts, property, and administrative needs.
Directions for personal property: If sentimental items matter, written guidance can reduce arguments and prevent beneficiaries from guessing what you wanted.
Access to key information: A clear list of accounts, contacts, and key documents can prevent delays and reduce the need for repeated record requests.
Plan for digital assets and online accounts: Many estates involve email, subscriptions, or online financial access, so written guidance can help your executor address them appropriately.
Backup executor choices: Naming one or more backups can prevent delays if your first choice can’t serve when the time comes.
Backups matter because life changes in ways that no one can predict, including moves, health changes, and shifts in availability. Clear instructions also help your executor stay consistent when beneficiaries ask for exceptions or try to apply pressure. The last step is putting that plan into a final form that matches your goals and your family’s needs.
Planning for Digital Access and Online Accounts
Many estates include online banking, email accounts, subscription services, and cloud-stored records that your executor may need to locate and manage. If no one can access these accounts, bills can be missed, important notices can be lost, and beneficiaries can be left waiting while your executor tries to reconstruct basic information.
A practical step is to maintain an up-to-date digital inventory that identifies the accounts that matter and where their access details are securely stored. You can also name a trusted contact method for how your executor should request access information, and you can update the list after major changes, such as new devices, new logins, or new financial accounts.
Experienced Estate Planning Attorney
If you’re naming an executor, an experienced estate planning attorney can help your loved ones avoid confusion and reduce conflict later. Our attorney at Boswell Law Offices, PLLC serves clients in Auburn, Washington, including the surrounding areas of Tacoma, Kent, Southern King County, and Pierce County, Washington.
A well-drafted will can give your executor the authority and direction needed to act confidently while staying aligned with your wishes. Contact our firm to discuss your executor choice, review your will, and update your estate plan so that it reflects your current priorities.